How I (almost) Got Arrested in North Korea
Would have been a great headline no? Romanian tourists gets arrested in North Korea! And after 2 years – 2 years of hard labouring – Romanian gets back home! First wish – give me some cheese!
And it almost happened. I think I was happy because I am a Romanian citizen not american; either wise would have been a difference scenery. Romania does have an Embassy in North Korea – USA does not. And the relationship between Romania and North Korea had been in good terms since the era or Ceausescu and Kim Sun 2.
It was on our fourth day. Again it was a long, long visiting day. Started early in the morning and ended around 10pm with some north Korean beers at the hotel lobby. The girls show at the barbecue restaurant was very fun and entertainment; plus the girls were very pretty and made some jokes with the roommate. Jokes who were to be continued in our hotel room.
I get drunk quite fast when I am tired. After 2 beers I was in a funny mood. And the talking began.
I was the evil how started the conversation and asked my room mate:
-Mate, how do you picture a porno movie with one of the actors being Kim? Which sex position do you think he likes it? Do you think he would like the waiters from today show?
The waiters we were talking about, getting ready for the show at the BBQ Restaurant in North Korea which was one of the best BBQ I had in my entire life! But that in another blog post about the food in North Korea
The roommate started to say something but in less than 20 seconds the phone started to ring.
Well, the only time the phone rang in our room was only for the wake up call – 6am in the morning. No afternoon call, no evening call. No other calls..
I froze and could not had the courage to move and to pick up the damn phone. In whisper and asked – Mate, can you answer? I was already imagine myself in a labor camp and cursing the damn pretty north Korean waiter. Kiki – were you out of your fucking mind? Porn, Kim, North Korea – are you crazy of just stupid?
He picked up the phone. The next 20 seconds seemed like a eternity to me. I was starting to image myself in a north Korean Camp!
After 20 seconds he hang up the phone. 5 seconds of silence followed. I almost shit myself. Then he said: it was our main guide, Kim. She was asking if you have any laundry to take from downstairs.
For the first time in the last minute I was able to breath and to smile a bit…
Of course it was just another lie and a clear message to us: stop the talking guys; you know we are listening to you. Probably from the secret room at level 13. From that moment we never talked in our room till the end of the trip. And was a bit worried till the end that they might arrest us at the departure on the Pyongyang Airport.
Luckily that thing never happened and I am able to relate this story on the blog from my MAC and not after 5 years, in a book, after escaping a North Korean labor camp!
I even send a postcard to Romania from North Korea (which has arrived earlier than the postcard I sent it from China). I could have been my last postcard send…